By now I assume most people have seen the Facebook comedy memes suggesting Father’s Day is the 20th most celebrated/important holiday in America. Truth is Father’s Day does not come in at number 20 but rather number 6. It does not fall behind Halloween and Arbor Day however it is much funnier to suggest it does fall that low in the American consciousness.
Jokes aside why is Father’s Day even celebrated. Is it one big “dad joke”? Truth is fathers are critical to the proper upbringing of children, children from homes with fathers tend to be more successful. Children need great role models and if they are lucky have other important men in their lives. But Dads hold a special place!
From personal experience I remember in college when I joined the Big Brother’s Program, it was a support system for children who did not have a father in the home. I joined for the perk of being able to use the program’s van and found a whole different value in my service. The young man I was given to support was about 8 years old, I was all of 18, but I played a big role in his development over the next couple of years and he in mine.
You see the relationship of father and child is a symbiotic experience, the men involved are evolved. The selfishness of youth gives way to the openness of giving of everything; time, knowledge, inspiration, and love. I was never going to be this child’s father but I was going to impact his development as much as he would impact mine.
Now 50 years later writing as a father of 5 and grandfather of 5 while looking back at my relationship with my father I think I understand the reason to celebrate.
Fathers are in fact just men who have come to experience the wonder of raising a child or children. As everyone says newborns don’t come with instructions and most men don’t come equipped with the nurturing nature of a mother. Lacking maternal experiences, we are left to find our way without directions. In my case with a first child that really wanted no part of me in his initial 3 plus years. It wasn’t until the second child came along that he realized it was time to give dad a shot.
That experience helped me better understand my relationship with my own father, difficult at times but always positive. My dad had extensive military service to his credit and he was hard on his kids, sometimes I wondered why he was so hard. I have come to understand it came from love and was intended to prepare me for the world I would enter when I left home. More importantly it allowed me to build character, develop a moral code, and become a relatively good man.
When my children were born, I had a sense of responsibility and when it was my turn to nurture and prepare my children for life, I was well armed. Over the years I developed strong bonds with each of my children and was always surprised by how different their needs were and challenged to meet those needs. I was never quite sure if the things I did were the right things but that was always the objective. Like my father I was preparing them for the real world and the challenges they would encounter.
Now, with 5 grandchildren, I have been able to look to the results. My sons have grown strong and capable, two already raising families of their own and doing a great job. The others have found success in relationships and joy in their work, life is good from them as well and I am secure in the belief they are prepared for fatherhood and any other challenges that await them.
A success I’ve been able to share is with my daughter who is operations manager and artist instructor at our family business. Her spouse supports her and the business too. Plus he is a great dad to their children.
So, Father’s Day is important because, to some extent, every young man and young woman benefits from good stewardship by their father. We provide the roadmap for success and happiness in ways quite different from their mothers.
When Father’s Day arrives this year look to your dad and his dad and beyond to understand how you have come to where you are in life. Celebrate the wonder of that journey and if it was good replicate it and if not modify it. Never forget it is the role of the father to create a roadmap to happiness for your children, you cannot plot the course but only set the guardrails.
Enjoy this coming Father’s Day, and share some time with your dad.
Looking for ways to celebrate Father’s Day in Cary?